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The Two Hundred: A day with The Guerillas

Manchester United might like to think they provide the finest sporting hospitality packages in the land, but they reckoned without the latest offering from Guerilla Cricket. Does the Bear have a sore head? What's Hendo like pre-rant? How does Nestle Boy survive on toast? Is Nakul actually an algorithm? Why is Grubby grubby? Now you can find out thanks to our unique Ashes Listener Experience, which takes you deep into the bosom of the world's most "irreverent but knowledgeable" (Lawrence Booth, Wisden Almanack 2019) worldwide cricket commentary.

For the knockdown price of £200* (10% discount for existing patreon.com or guerillacricket contributors), you can spend a day at Guerilla Towers in southeast London sampling an incredible mixture of earthly wonders based around our great game. This offer is open for all 25 days of the Tests. The Ashes Tests run from Aug 1-5, August 14-18, August 22-26, Sep 4-8 and Sep 12-16. See above for contact details. Because of the slightly shorter duration of the Test day, this will cost you just £180 (with deduction as above for Patreon members).

Don't just take our word for it, see what others said about the Guerilla Listener Experience during the World Cup:

"Not only are you given 'Access All Areas' privileges, allowing you to lift the veil on the behind-the-scenes wizardry and shenanigans, you are thrust into the limelight of live broadcasting in both sound and vision. A thrilling experience that will leave memories of great folks and good fun that will last a lifetime. Great value for a unique day's entertainment." – @cbar2323

"Guerilla Cricket rekindled my love of cricket commentary. It is inclusive, lively, irreverent, and infused with a love for the game. Cricket broadcasting isn't easy but the Guerillas make it so for you, easing you in so gently you scarcely remember you're on air. And there's so much more. The drink, the food, the gifts, the drink, the bonhomie of the green room, the drink... I count the Guerilla Experience as one of my most cherished experiences. It fulfilled a lifelong dream, and was also a bloody good day out. I can not recommend it highly enough." -@akaarthurshire

"If you're thinking about going for the Guerilla Cricket Experience, then go for it. You won't regret it. You get to spend a day watching cricket in the company of some of the most knowledgeable cricket fans you'll find, and they'll treat you to all manner of delicious Guerilla-style goodies. The commentary side is scary but it's so much fun, and you're surrounded by experts who'll help you out if you have trouble." – @spicygoldenduck

"Visit the nerve centre of the cricket commentary rebels where you will be plied with pastry, beer, and stories of how our heroes bring cricket to the masses despite the best efforts of the establishment. Have a go at commentary and you'll realise just how skilled the Guerillas are as you stare tongue-tied at the screen." – @lastlegsbaku

Highlights of the Guerilla Experience

Culinary

On arrival: Hendo Pastry of the Day (hand selected) plus glass of Guerilla Grog or home brewed tea or coffee.

Throughout the day: three cans of Manny's Brew – be among the first to sample the veteran Guerilla commentator's new ales.

Innings break: prawn sandwich (from local Tesco's), chilled in the Guerillas' new fridge or chicken dinner (from local fried chicken shop) or share of team pizza. Let us know if you need a veggie or vegan option.

Commentary

Try out your skills: commentate a minimum of one over of ball-by-ball per innings (support provided if necessary) and spend a half-hour session on tweets or jingles. We will provide you with an mp3 of your efforts!

Behind the scenes: full day's access to Green Room prattle (what goes on in GR stays in GR)

TV fame: make your debut on Facebook Live, which will beam your gorgeous mug to a worldwide audience of up to one million people.

Additionally

Selfie mania: have your picture with your Guerilla Cricket commentators of choice.

Take a punt: you will be given a total of £10 to gamble with our sponsor Betway with tips from our gambling experts Paul "Grubby" Howarth, Nigel "the Bear" Walker and Andy Ward. You want more? How about three free guesses on the Guerilla Prediction League (prize fund varies by day)

Jingle balls: our esteemed jingleurs – Mog, Jeff Perkins, Richard Peel, and others – will (with enough persuasian) compose a beautifully-crafted tune especially for you.

Don't delay: we expect places to be filled quickly. Book yours by emailing us at guerillacricket@gmail.com. When we have confirmed your place you will need to deposit the money in our paypal account.

Availability

Places are still available for the following matches.

Thu Aug 1 Ashes T1 D1
Fri Aug 2 Ashes T1 D2
Sat Aug 3 Ashes T1 D3
Sun Aug 4 Ashes T1 D4
Mon Aug 5 Ashes T1 D5
Wed Aug 14 Ashes T2 D1 Booked!
Thu Aug 15 Ashes T2 D2
Fri Aug 16 Ashes T2 D3
Sat Aug 17 Ashes T2 D4
Sun Aug 18 Ashes T2 D5
Sun Jul 14 Ashes T3 D1
Thu Aug 22 Ashes T3 D2
Fri Aug 23 Ashes T3 D3
Sat Aug 24 Ashes T3 D4
Sun Aug 25 Ashes T3 D5
Wed Sep 4 Ashes T4 D1
Thu Sep 5 Ashes T4 D2
Fri Sep 6 Ashes T4 D3
Sat Sep 7 Ashes T4 D4
Sun Sep 8 Ashes T4 D5
Thu Sep 12 Ashes T5 D1
Fri Sep 13 Ashes T5 D2
Sat Sep 14 Ashes T5 D3
Sun Sep 15 Ashes T5 D4
Sun Sun 16 Ashes T5 D5

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