As he arrives in Chennai to join up with his Sunrisers of Hyderabad, it seems David Warner needs some ideas as to how to pass his week in quarantine before IPL 2021.
The Sunrisers won five out of their last six games to qualify for the playoffs in the 13th edition of the tournament, staged in the UAE from September to November last year, and the team will be looking to carry forward the momentum in this year's edition.
Taking to Instagram, he shared a video of himself and wrote: "I've arrived and ready to go but one problem: I need some ideas to get through the next few days of quarantine!! Please give me some ideas; please comment below. #boredinthehouse #india #cricket."
He may be all bristling belligerence on the field, but like all of us, he has his passions and interests beyond cricket. His hobbies are listed as travelling, writing, golfing and swimming. Alas three of those will be tricky from the confines of his hotel room, although perhaps he could become an oversees member of Mark Wood's Quarantine Swim Club.
Warner owns six race horses, so you would expect that the equine link would mean that he and Wood could be well matched virtual bath-time playmates.
There is more depth to Warner than to his hotel bath water though. Did you know, for example, that he is handy with a pen as well as a bat and has written a series of children's adventure books called The Kaboom Kid – The Switch Hit. He is also a significant investor in "666" pure Tasmanian vodka.
Tasmania may not be globally renowned for its vodka, but 666 is nonetheless tickling the palates of vodka drinkers around the world, if not Russia perhaps. It's won a gold medal at the San Francisco World Spirit awards and according to knowledgeable mixologists is "good in Dirty Martinis made a little dirty, just like the devil ordered".
The company is dedicated to preserving the Tasmanian devil from extinction through support of the Save the Tasmanian Devil organization. It is not a leap of the imagination to see, perhaps, how a small aggressive rodent, recently re introduced to New South Wales, attracted our David.
No doubt England fans will have plenty of ideas to keep one of their favourite adversaries occupied during his isolation period. They are sure to be missing him after the 2019 Ashes when thanks to Stuart Broad and Jofra Archer, they saw so little of the man from the Paddington area of Sydney.
As he looks for the ways to spend his time in quarantine, here is an overs-worth of suggestions from my fellow Guerillas on diversionary pursuits to keep boredom at bay.
- As a lover of turtles, download seasons 1 and 2 of Blue Planet, including bonus features
- As an enthusiastic traveller, any of Michael Palin's magnificent anthology would offer escapism
- Alas this year's IPL venues are limited to 6 and David is in Chennai, but there is plenty of opportunity to learn of Hyderabad's rich heritage. The Untold Charminar: Writings on Hyderabad, a collection of essays written by historians, celebrities, and residents of the city is highly recommended to learn more about the 'City of Pearls'
- Undertake an online anger management course. Enough said
- Watch Shane Warne's leg spin master class – the extra bow string could come in very handy
- Read fellow author Stuart Broad's book Ashes Celebration. Perhaps a shade too painful, but they do say keep your friends close and your enemies closer
Jingle by Men With Ven