Britsa beats Beefy, England crush Windies

137 is all the West Indies managed in their second dig. A crushing defeat by an innings and 209 runs is not in any way a flattering scoreline.

History was made by Stuart Broad, the fading boy-band star surpassing IT Botham’s Test wicket haul of 383. He did it in the grand manner, too, nibbling Shane Dowrich’s off peg with one that nipped back.

Broad’s partner in crime Jimmy Anderson moved closer to his 500 when he bowled Kemar Roach and ToRoJo took the final scalp, Stokes pouching the catch offered by Alzarri Joseph at third slip. It’s the first time England’s top two Test wicket takers have been in the same XI since 1963. Trueman and Statham, as we’re sure you know.

Where now for the West Indies? Leeds, that’s where. Hard to see it getting much better for the men from the Caribbean.

Thanks for your company this Test. We’re in the pink.

The inexorable journey to the end of this game continues, West Indies unable to arrest the downhill acceleration.

Rather fittingly, the first innings ended with another hapless run-out when Miguel Cummins loitered on his heels rather than setting off for the presumably-agreed single, and was sent packing by Tom Westley’s throw. Prior to that, Alzarri Joseph had succumbed to Britsa Broad’s full ball, LBW for 6. Jermaine Blackwood remained not out on 79, an entertaining knock but ultimately a futile gesture.

All out for 168, then, and skipper Joe Root signalled “You’re batting again, lads” as the England boys trotted off to prepare themselves for another onslaught.

It wasn’t long before the second-innings cracks started to appear. Described by our friend Tony as “like a fine wine” (getting better as he ages rather than being particularly full-bodied), Jimmy Anderson had Kieran Powell caught by his old mucker Alastair Cook at first slip. Shortly after, Hendo’s new favourite player Kyle Hope was leg before to the rather fortunate ToRoJo and the score was 41-2.

First-innings ducker Kraigg Brathwaite was the mainstay for his side this time around, playing patiently for his 40. Then, right on the stroke of tea, he was out LBW (again on review) to the wicket machine that is Moeen Ali.

Next stop: heavy and humiliating defeat. 76-4 and still 270 behind.

They’ve got Kyle Hope, they’ve got Shai Hope, they’ve got…well, no hope.

After the first portion of play lasted all of one ball before a Brummie squall, the Windies batsmen returned in murky conditions. Kyle’s mood matched the atmospherics five balls later as he offered the simplest of catches to Ben Stokes off Jimmy A: 45-2.

That quickly became 47-4. Kieran Powell committed seppuku, attempting a non-existent single and being athletically run out by Jimmy from mid-off. Meanwhile, Roston Chase chopped the Burnley Express on to register a duck.

ToRoJo came on and bowled one of the floatiest, filthiest overs in living memory. Despite that, he was allowed to continue and – ere long – had a couple of wickets to his name. Shai rendered the innings Hopeless when he dragged an innocuous one on from outside off before diminutive ‘keeper Shane Dowrich was trapped in front. Windies were now rocking like Rockin’ Robin at the Rockingham Festival of Rock. 101-6.

Jermaine Blackwood chose to come out fighting, taking advantage of some ordinary bowling from TRJ and Stokesy early on and finding the backward point and straight boundaries regularly. He reached a well-earned fifty at better than a run a ball.

The belated introduction of Moeen Ali paid an early dividend when captain Jason Holder feathered a ball through to Jonny B and was given out on review (another error from umpire Erasmus).

When fading boy-band member Stuart Broad came back on, he got one to tail in and that was easily good enough to beat the flat-footed defence of Kemar Roach. Off stump and batsman both out of the ground.

Blackwood’s defiance continued into the last over before lunch (or supper or “lupper”). He skipped down the track and cracked Moeen back over his shaven bonce for a maximum.

So, 145-8 at the break. Blackwood 60 not out. Seven wickets in the session. Hope, for the Windies, is fading fast.